Profile Lameness....to Profile Awesomeness!

So, I've decided...our profile is kind of lame, and a lot boring.

Hello!? We are not lame or boring. And, since I get kinda "funny" and find myself especially hilarious at 2:00 in the morning....well, I decided to work on our profile.

My vision is to make a professional-looking brochure, introducing our wonderfully-quirky family. Here's what I've got so far. This would be the front cover:

Hoping To Adopt

Adoption Makes Our Family Part of Yours

Then, the first page of the "brochure" would go as follows...

Introducing: Paul

(I could get in a LOT of trouble for posting this picture...but it's just so funny!!)

Also known as: Big Daddy, The Man of the House, and Momma’s Sweet Hunk of Love….The King of this castle

Paul is the sports broadcaster in the family. He is “broadcasting” a variety of sports from the radio, the T.V., the internet, the newspaper, as well as his iPhone at nearly any given hour of the day. Who knew there were so many sports, and so many games/tournaments/bowl games?

We’d also like to recognize his efforts as a butcher…he brings home some mighty fine “bacon”!

He is also the family "collector". Now I'm not talkin' stamps...baseball cards...I'm talkin' cars and not in the "Matchbox" variety.

You’ve never met a comedian like him. He’s got a gift for laughter. And if it’s true what they say: ‘laughter is the best medicine’, well that makes him the family doctor too.

No other “Big Daddy” could fill his shoes…ask his girls.

Genie (from Aladdin) would tell you: “You ain’t never had-a friend like [Paul]”. Paul cares more and has more love for people than anyone knows.

Paul is “The Rock”…the very foundation of our happy home. And, he’s hot.

Introducing: Jeanette

(In my Redneck glory...)

Also known as: The Queen to her King, The Taxi Driver, The Chef

Jeanette is the “everything-but-the-kitchen-sink” kind of mom…oh, but she does the ‘kitchen sink’ too.

Move over Julia, Martha, and Rachel Ray…You’ve got nothing on this kitchen vixen!

She "whips" up cookies, brownies, and decorates cakes and can dish up a meal worthy of finger-licken.

Her girls sit on the counter making dinners and goodies, her sou-chef’s in training

She "stirs" up things to see and do, adding "spice" to each day whether sunshine or raining

Cousin play-dates and camping are thrown in the "mix"

Up her sleeves are "batches" of good tricks

One thing she’s unable to do is to get a "bun" in her "oven" and have it bake too

Hoping you’ll please share your "recipe" and add another "bun" to our crew.

And, in case you were wondering...she’s pretty sure the song “Redneck Woman” by Gretchen Wilson was written about her.

Introducing: Marquessa

(Check out the shoes on my little fashionista!)

Also known as: Mar-quesadilla, usually “Dia”, Bug…or bug-a-licious, The Princess

Marquessa is the family’s “party animal”. She thinks life is a party thrown just for her. If it weren’t necessary to sleep, she wouldn’t.

She’s a stellar kindergarten student. Reading on her own, writing words and numbers…watch out Harvard!

She’s a born romantic. (Loves watching the “kissing parts” on movies)

She thinks “Captain Jack Sparrow” is hot.

Marquessa’s theme song would be: Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus.

Although, I’m thinking ABBA (the band) would serenade her with the song: ‘Dancing Queen’. Seriously, you should see the girls moves…

Her dream job: a hairstylist, a teacher, or a game tester for Milton Bradley or Hasbro. She loves to play card/board games, play “class” and style her doll’s hair, her sister’s hair…mom’s hair…

Introducing: Courtney

(Those are grapes in her cheeks!)

Also known as: Jane (her middle name), Janey, Janer, and Angel, Princess Sister

Courtney is the family cheerleader. She is very good at recognizing and praising everyone's work and efforts.

Courtney is an amazing swimmer, and has often been called lil’ mermaid or lil’ fish. We keep looking for the gills, fins and scales...if we don’t find any she could be the family’s first “Olympian”! If we do…uh, what do we do!?

Theme song: I wonder if she’d choose something from Little Mermaid or Finding Nemo? “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…”

Perhaps we might have a future American Idol on our hands. She’s got serious skills with her pipes! Courtney might just be the Taylor Swift of her generation. (She’s a T.S. fan)

Courtney’s dream job: a movie critic, an author or an editor. She loves her some good media; always asking if she can “watch-a-show”, or you might find her nose buried in some book. No one can stop a smile when hearing her giggle at something she finds funny.

This preschooler has the stubborn determination, independence, energy, attitude and “smarts” to go after what she wants. We know she’ll get it too.

Now Accepting Applications

To belong to this incredible family!

For a limited time only...

Call, text or e-mail now!

You won’t find a better offer

For more information

visit our blog: our-missing-pieces.blogspot.com

You don't have to take our word for it.

(Testimonials from Birthmom members of this family)

Alright...thoughts? Suggestions?

Sometimes, this waiting and looking business really blows...seriously.

Preschool and Tears

It's hard to imagine that almost 3 years ago, a post to this blog would have been about the finalization of our adopting Courtney. How quickly time passes...because instead, today I'm posting about Courtney starting pre-school.

She was so excited! Courtney is incredibly smart, witty and has more energy than any other 3 year old I have ever known. She has been counting down for weeks to go to Miss Barbara's for school. The look on her face says it all.

Courtney LOVED preschool. She asked me when I dropped her off if I was going to throw her a big party like Marquessa's first day of school. (I had only planned on doing this little tradition when starting kindergarten, but I couldn't break her heart over something so easy.) So, I told her it wouldn't be a 'big party', but we'd have a little one.

She was quite pleased with her balloons and M&M's. She hugged me and said, "Thanks mom. I love little things..." It's true, it is the little things that make life better. Courtney is one of the little things that makes my life better.

I've already admitted to being a tad emotional. So, bear with me as I shed a few tears over this one.

For the first time in over 5 years, I had an hour and a half to myself. I keep hearing things like: 'you'll get used to it', or 'you're going to love having them both in school', and even 'you won't have time to miss them'.

News flash! I have time to miss them; I actually like having my kids home...so having them in school is hard for me. I know I'll 'get used to it', but when planning out my life I didn't anticipate having 2 kids in school and not having more kids at home. That realization, and that understanding that I cannot plan for, or know when to expect to have more kids at home...well, it struck a bit of a sensitive cord today.

Taking Courtney to pre-school was so much harder for me than sending Marquessa off to kindergarten. I cried more today than the whole day of Marquessa's first day at public education.

We also celebrated the "Back-to-School" season with SaraJane, Courtney's birthmom. Courtney chose Pei Wei (again!). She wanted chicken, noodles and "pick-up sticks" (chopsticks). It was so much fun being able to visit and catch up for a while.

I am so incredibly grateful for my sweet girls and my marvelous man. Even through these little struggles, I know that I have so much to be grateful for, and I can see that I am blessed beyond belief....

Decisions, decisions

We've been asked about how we made some choices through our experiences in adoption. I thought it would be appropriate to answer them here.

What made us choose adoption?

After being married for 13 months, we decided it was time to start our family. 6 months later, I had an appointment with my "female doctor" and talked to her about our hope of having a baby. She told me not to worry, because on average it takes couples 18 months to conceive. I took her advice and chose not to worry about it for the next year.

Month 19 into our failed attempts, I had an emotional breakdown. I knew at this point that getting children into our family was going to be difficult, and it was really hard to accept. Nobody I knew had fertility problems. I felt so alone, so isolated, and so discouraged.

We went through a few fertility tests and discussed options with multiple doctors. (Which, in itself is invasive and horrifying on so many levels.) When we were faced with all of our options, we concluded that if we were going to spend thousands, or tens of thousands of dollars, we wanted results. Doctors could not promise results, just possibilities.

"Results" we could get through adoption. And we proceeded with the process.

How did we decide which agency to use?

Not knowing where else to turn, we talked to our Bishop (LDS/Mormon), who gave us the direction to go through LDS Family Services. It was safe. It was familiar, being connected with our faith. It was comfortable...well, as comfortable as you get in a situation like this.

The paperwork and process was extensive and shocking. We felt so violated and mistrusted. Background checks, intrusive home studies, several interviews about us and our childhood... It was exhausting and frustrating. It was terrifying.

Once the paperwork was done, the real waiting game began.

(I'd like to note that during this "wait" - that is when my heart changed. I experienced extreme grief and sadness. But, I also discovered reasons for being happy and excited for the new adventures through adoption. This waiting period changed me in profound ways...though it took time.)

We waited with LDS Family Services for 4 years when we got an interesting phone call. A birthparent caseworker contacted us and asked us to house a birthmother who had chosen to place with another family. Having waited for so long, it wasn't easy to answer, and we asked to have a few days to think about it. Every reason we came up with to say "no" sounded so selfish, and we made the decision to have her in our home.

It was so hard to have a birthmother live with us. She had something we wanted desperately, but had committed to giving to someone else. She taught us something no one else could have: how incredibly special and unique every birthmother is. She opened our hearts and our minds to the possibility of having Open Adoption relationships with our children's birthmothers. I owe her so much for this lesson!

When did we know it was time to change agencies?

After we'd had the birthmother in our home, we discussed what other options we had. We knew at this point that our baby was going to come from whichever agency his/her birthmother felt comfortable. We felt strongly that it was time to move out of our comfort zone (LDSFS)...and search elsewhere for our baby. We looked into several agencies, we even talked about Foster Adopt programs. We never felt satisfied with the answers and places we looked.

3 months following the departure of the birthmother from our home, we received a phone call from Heart & Soul Adoptions. We talked at great length about their agency, and most importantly about the baby they felt was ours. The situation was (from our perspective) rocky and challenging, at best. The possibility of it working in a way that we could keep her, wasn't terribly high at that point. Crazy as it sounds, it just felt right. We knew that this little girl was meant for us. It was nothing short of amazing.

30 days later...we met our first little princess, Marquessa, for the first time. And 30 days after we had her home, we were excited to find out that we were going to be able to finalize!

She joined our family 7 1/2 years after we were married, approximately 6 years after beginning our attempts for "homemade" babies, and nearly 4 1/2 years after going through the paperwork and processes necessary for adoption.

2 years later - we went through Heart & Soul to adopt again, because we knew that's where our baby was coming from. We'd only had our paperwork in for 5 days before we were told Marquessa would have a little sister.

Now...we feel very strongly to have our paperwork through LDSFS once again. Our profile should go "live" very soon. When faced with the process again, I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to get frustrated...because if I were a birthmom, I'd want to make sure that I was placing my baby somewhere safe and loving. Whoever said "attitude is everything" wasn't kidding. It has been so much easier to go through the process this time.

Decisions.

Sometimes the decisions we make are for our benefit. Other times, it is for the benefit of others. But every decision we make affects someone, in some way. Hopefully the decisions we make affect us, and those around us, in positive and inspiring ways.

Thanks to all those who lift and inspire me and give me reasons to become a better person...

The Way Things Are Done...

I have dragged my feet about doing a blog for a few years, but the time has arrived. Apparently, "blogging" is the best and most efficient way of having a voice in the adoption world. There are things to be said about adoption from this house, and we're going to say them!!

So, let me start with a cyber "shout out" to the girls birthmothers - who have allowed me to include them in this process and in our search for our next "missing piece".

Birthmothers are incredible and amazing women. They grow babies for families who have dysfunctional tools for baby making, like us. They love their babies so much that they go through personal heartache and difficulty to give them everything they want to...and can...only by placing them in an adoptive home. Birthmothers are strong, brave, and courageous. I see them as literal saviors on the earth: defining the term "savior" as one who does something for another, who cannot do it for themselves.

I am grateful for Anne and SaraJane for being such "saviors" for me and my family.

But, I cannot use the term "savior" at this time of year without expressing love and gratitude for Jesus Christ (THE Savior), and God - our Father in Heaven. I'm grateful for the love I have felt and the opportunities They have given me through this blessed gift of adoption.

Merry Christmas